Drug dealer joins Irish Olympic team after being spotted sprinting away from Gardai.
Homeless Ardee man joins the Irish Olympic team and is our only hope at gold medal.
It started off like every other day for 25 year old Wayne Doherty, (No fixed abode) Ardee, running away from the Gardai for some reason or another but it turned out to be a rather special day as Wayne was spotted by Ian Baldwin who happens to be the president of both Athletic Ireland and the Olympic council of Ireland.
"I was sitting down for my morning coffee and to read the paper as I do everyday when i see this scum bag absolutely tearing up the street, holding his pockets, away from two rather fast Gardai but he was never going to be caught." Ian told us here at LLN.
"Lets be honest, Irelands athletic team is woeful like ya know, we don't have anyone who can compete against the worlds fastest, Bolt and these boys but Wayne is definetly up there with the best, Yeah, he has a system full of ketamine and ecstasy but if we can hide these from the drugs tests we will win not a bother, so if you enjoy winning money stick what ever you have on Wayne."
We spoke to Wayne after he woke up from a very deep sleep after smoking a 'Jeffery'. "Ahh its great so it is like ya know. The Gaurds haven't caught me once in 3 years. Thats all the training I have so i'd like to say thanks to all at An Garda shicaloni. I get ta represent the boys from Ardee and all like. I've an awful itchy back and I can't get at it."
We let Ian get back to his training and pray that he slips by undetected from the drugs testing.