SALMON OF KNOWLEDGE STOLEN
Irelands smartest, has been fish-napped.
The area around the river Boyne is closed off for investigation as Gardai and the defence forces join together in what could be Irelands greatest tragedy since Dustin the turkey represented us at Eurovision. Fintan, aka The Salmon of Knowledge has been stolen. Fintan, (TSOK), possess all the knowledge in the world to whoever tastes its flesh first. It was meant to be eaten by Fionn MacCumhail but before legend was to be fulfilled Fintan was taken.
An Taoiseach, Enda Kenny issued a sympathetic few words. “I have total faith in our countries ability to get this job done with me. I am just about to sit down with my family to have our usual Fresh cod and chip and all this salmon talk is putting me off.”
An eye witness’s told Gardai that they saw Minister for agriculture, Simon Coveney running away from the scene with water dripping from his jacket.
After calling to Coveneys house Gardai have issued a warrant for his arrest and is the main suspect. If you see this man who may have all the knowledge in the world to alert Gardai or Defence Forces and do not approach.
Here is an artist’s impression of what coveney may look like now.
